Kyle's Random

I haven’t finished the last five books I’ve started, but now I’m on to the next.

But this one is different.  This one was written to women.

And I’m not a woman.

Even still, I don’t know that I’ve ever read another book (outside of the Bible) that has taught me so much about myself and the sickness inside all of us that is trying to destroy our lives.  It’s shed helpful light on why I do some of the things I do, why I’m tempted in some of the ways I’m tempted, and why I often feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster:

“I feel everything.  My joys are huge, and so are my sorrows.  If I”m mad, I’m really mad, and if I’m despondent, I wonder how on earth I’ll go on.  Then, I get up, pour some coffee, and move on to the next emotion and forget how depressed I was an hour ago.” (Kindle Location 1177)

Other than the coffee part, I completely relate.  And I’m discovering that it’s not just my sensitivity.  It’s the exploitation of my sensitivity: insecurity.

“Are we honestly going to insist on drawing our security from people-men or women-who are oblivious to the inordinate amount of weight we give to their estimation of us?  Seriously?” (Kindle Location 261)

“We can think we’ve murdered that monster once and for all, and then it rises from the dead and it has grown another head.” (Kindle Location 283)

“Loss of favor and approval and harmony is excruciating to people with insecurity.” (Kindle Location 400)

I wish that every woman and most of the men I know would read this book.  I think it would be transformational in the lives of many.

The name of the book?  So Long Insecurity, by Beth Moore. (Don’t judge me.)

For the past couple of years, the topic of the Sabbath has fascinated me.  It’s clearly an important concept in the Bible, but I’ve never seemed to get a solid hold on how it should translate into my weekly calendar.  Honestly, the thought of it seems a little boring.  I mean, where’s the challenge in doing nothing for a day.

Then, a couple of weeks ago I started reading Sabbath by Dan Allender.  This book has caused me to totally reconsider the presuppositions I’ve made about the Sabbath.  Rather than taking the path of legalism, this is a book about delight.  In the author’s words, “We are driven [in the work we do] because our work brings us power and pride that dulls our deeper desire for delight.  …We are far better at handling difficulties than joy.”

Although I’m only half way through, it’s already the best book that I’ve read this year (and I’ve read some great books this year).

If you decide to read it, let me know.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

P.S.  – This is my 300th blog post.  Hurray!

Last week, I had the opportunity to make a quick trip to Dallas with Justin Petrowski, Heather Burson, and Kyle McClain to attend the Echo Conference.  It was a fantastic conference, and we had a great trip.

Here are a few pics:

I’m currently near the end of a week-long vacation with my wife and kids at Fripp Island, off the coast of South Carolina.  We visited here last Christmas, and from that visit we hoped to come back and try out the beach in the summertime.  It’s been a fantastic vacation – the island is a nature preserve, and we’ve frequently seen deer, racoons, and even alligators (one was over 6 feet long) in close proximity to the house where we’re staying.

Yesterday we decided to rent a 17′ Carolina Skiff to navigate the marshes and make our way out to an uninhabited island to look for shells.  This was pretty adventurous for us, since I’ve never driven a motorized boat by myself, our destination was an hour away from the marina at full throttle, and Keri and my shared lack of navigational sense.  There was a sense of anticipation and excitement – even from the kids.

Without a doubt, the boat ride was a highlight of the trip, especially since we came across several groups of dolphins swimming near our boat.  It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.

Then, in the middle of our beautiful and adventurous day, I did a very silly thing.  I put my iPhone into my swimsuit pocket to have it ready for taking photos.  I knew when I did it that it was a bad idea, but I did it anyway.

Just for the record, you should never put a cell phone in your swimsuit pocket.  The odds are against you.

When we found the island beach we were looking for, I jumped out of the boat to carry the kids to shore and keep the boat pushed out far enough that it didn’t get stuck with the falling tide.  It wasn’t till about 20 minutes later, when we were all back in the boat, that I reached for my iPhone and realized that I had created a very expensive paperweight and an even more expensive boat ride.

Concluding Thoughts:

1. Even with the submersion and death of my iPhone, it was still worth the great memory my family created on the ocean yesterday.  There was much more to the story, including Keri having to drive the boat at a moment’s notice two different times and my 4-year-old daughter simultaneously screaming at her that she couldn’t do it.
2. Just before the boat ride, I emailed a few photos to my email account so that I’d have them for a blog post.  Otherwise, I would have lost most of our photos from the trip.
3. I miss my iPhone tremendously.  It’s been less than 24 hours, but any time I think about needing a map, checking email, or taking a photo, my heart is stabbed with grief.
4. Rumor has it that the new iPhone will be announced in just a few days.  Perfect timing!

Early tomorrow morning (Wednesday), my mom will take the next step in her colon cancer treatment and will have the first of two surgeries.  I’m heading to Houston tomorrow morning to spend a few days with her, Dad, my brother Phil, and his wife Emily.

We would all appreciate your prayers for her – that the surgery will go well and that God will give her a quick recovery afterwards.

About two weeks ago, during our staff retreat at the Cove in Asheville, God impacted my heart in a huge way. I can’t exactly put my finger on what is happeneing in my soul, but I feel a new work of God happening in my heart.

I feel a new sense of urgency in prayer and an increased passion for the ministry He has called me to.  At the same time, I have a clearer understanding of my my brutally selfish nature.  In opposition to it, I’m asking God to expand my capacity for service without recognition.

Some of what I’ve seen in my heart bothers me, but other parts give me great hope in the future. As I battle against my flesh, I’m praying that God will use this time to draw me even nearer to Himself.  I’m praying that He will work through me in a way that earns glory only for Himself.

Earlier this week, my youngest brother Phillip accepted a position administrating the finances of Experience Life Church in Lubbock, TX.  I’m very excited for him.  Not only is it exciting to see him enter the ministry on a vocational level, but I’m also fired up about his church.  They’ve had phenomenal growth (Outreach Magazine’s fastest growing church of 2009) and they’re seeing a lot of lives changed.

I’m super proud of my brother, and I’m praying God will use him in a big way to enhance the ministry at Experience Life Church.  This is a new position for both my brother and the church, so I’m sure he’d appreciate you prayers as well.

Whether you’ve met my brother or not, you’ve got to check out this video of him from a few years back. (I’m sure he’ll appreciate that I’ve posted this online.)

It seems that our nation has this one figured out pretty well already, but just in case you’ve missed it, here are nine ways to ruin your kids:

1. Always expect the worst from your kids.  You’ll eventually find out you’re right.
2. Give them everything they want.  If you’re consistent with this, you’ll trick your children into thinking that the stuff of this world can buy their happiness.
3. Don’t discipline your kids.  I’m not just talking about spanking here; I’m talking about time out, grounding, and all other forms of discipline.
4. Be very cautious about praising your children.  You don’t want them to become proud or feel special about themselves.  Slowly erode their confidence.
5. Show your kids through your words and actions that they are an inconvenience to your life.  Dwell on the ways that your life would be different – even better – without them.
6. Use guilt and shame to motivate your children to do what you want them to do.
7. If you have more than one child, let the kids treat each other with rudeness and disrespect.
8. Place the responsibility of socializing your kids on either a) the school system, or b) television.  Don’t consider this a personal responsibility.
9. Place the responsibility of their spiritual development on either a) the church, or b) let them figure this out on their own.  If you’re going to wreck your kids, it’s critical that you not take responsibility here.

Just in case you missed the related posts:

• 6 Ways to Wreck Your Spiritual Life
• 9 Ways to Wreck Your Job

I have to admit that I am a hardcore fan of alternative rock music.  1994 was a pivotal year for me as I began to fall in love with the gritty sound of bands like Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine, and a slew of others.  The energy and passion was contagious, and even though I still love much of the musical style, I regretfully let my mind be filled with a lot of stuff that wasn’t good for my soul.  I still listen to alternative rock, but I’ve added quite a few bands of a different nature, like David Crowder Band, Switchfoot, & Skillet.  I’ve also eliminated some bands and many songs from my music library.

Well, last night, as I was mowing the lawn, I came across a song that I’ve heard a hundred times before – Sunflowers, by Everclear.  This time as I listened, I actually picked up on the flow of the lyrics.

I know where you go when you want to fall
Why do you want to be broken?
I know where you go when you want to fall
Yes your friends they tell me everything
Yes I know where you go
Yes I know what you do
Yes I know the awful things you say and who you say them to

I had always assumed these lyrics were referring to a wife or girlfriend, but today I clearly heard the important lines of the song:

Your mom she said that you are just like me
I can see it in your eyes
I can see your shaky hands
Yes I think you think i’m stupid
You don’t think I understand
Yes I see you and I see myself when I was a younger man
When you were a child
You were happy and free
You were my reason to live
I would die when you smiled at me
I can still see you
I remember you painting
Sunflowers in your room

These are not the words of a bitter lover or disillusioned spouse.  These are the words of a brokenhearted father.

God, please help me to raise my children to follow after you.  I pray that they would escape some of the pitfalls I fell into emotionally during my teenage years, and I beg you to please raise them up to be leaders in your Kingdom work here on this earth.  Please mold me into the dad and husband you want me to be, and help me treasure each day with my children.

PS – If you randomly found this blog post, and you’re not a part of a church community, I’d love to have you join me this weekend at our Internet Campus.  It’s an online interactive broadcast each Sunday, and for the next few weeks, we’re specifically talking about issues facing families today.